Once you have passed the stage of simply being in love with someone to actually loving him or her, you have to learn to let go of the constant high and to ride the less frequent waves as they come.
They always come. They just aren't the "in love" emotional state that only falling in love allows for. You want to spend more time with this person, get to know him or her better, be with this person as much as possible.
You always want to have more, and want to build a greater, more serious relationship. The goal that being in love calls for no longer exists -- but only because it's already been reached. This often scares people because they begin to feel a need to continue making progress. Unfortunately, everything in the universe is finite. You can't make progress and continue building something greater forever.
The only thing you can eventually do is keep reinforcing what you already have. Being in love is not only understanding that what you have is all you need, but wanting to strengthen that bond indefinitely.
Falling in love is much, much easier than loving. When you're in love, the chemicals in your brain and body make you feel as if the person is the greatest person in the world. You believe this person to be the most amazing specimen you have ever encountered. When you decide to stay in your comfort zone and let your partner take care of your needs, you never get the opportunities to evolve as a person.
We evolve through trial and error. When we have the courage to face our obstacles and we are not afraid to fail a few hundred times before we finally succeed, we grow as persons and we boost our self-confidence. The more strongly we feel as a person, the more capable we are to put love as a priority in our relationship.
We now got to the core of the smelly onion. If we think everything through down to the deepest layer, we come out to a fear we all have as humans: the fear of being alone.
We are all programmed to stay in the company of others because together we are strong and have a bigger chance to survive than being by ourselves. We need our partner, otherwise, we are all alone with me, myself and I. The idea of ending up all alone is a huge fear. With most of us, this fear operates unconsciously but with some of us, it is very present and actively dominating their lives. The fear of being alone can be very active when somehow in our lives it was triggered, otherwise, it stays dormant and acts very subtle.
For example, when one of your parents left your family when you were a child, for sure this fear came up to help prevent you from being all by yourself. In a romantic relationship, this fear can play out by becoming very needy and dependent on your partner. When the fear of being alone is very present in you, it is important to become very aware of this and identify it together with your partner. Become your own observer and be mindful every time your fear gets triggered so you can convince yourself that everything is just fine.
And definitely include your partner when it comes to coping with your fear of abandonment. He or she can help convince you that everything is alright and you are loved very much.
Even if your fears are strong and sometimes taking over you, your awareness is always bigger. The solution for fear is love. So if you have a lot of fears, make sure there is even more love in your relationship to deal with it. You are in a codependent relationship when you and your partner need each other so much that you became dependent on each other to a dysfunctional degree. You are both the caregiver and the one being taken care of at the same time.
For everything you want to do, you need each other to help or you will feel lost and afraid. It is maybe beautiful to have your lives completely entangled but not all that glitters is gold. Neediness is the fuel for the continuation of the relation. Even if this kind of relationship provides the regular fights and discussions, it keeps on going until the bomb explodes.
This kind of relationship blocks the process of individual growth. It stops both partners from evolving and becoming strong people who are in control of their own life and not afraid to face the normal obstacles people face in life. Instead of working on ourselves and gaining courage from every obstacle we personally go through, we use subtle manipulation to make sure our partner does the work for us. We can put ourselves in a victim position, give our partner guilty feelings, get emotional and many more other clever tactics in order to make our partner fulfill our needs so we can stay safely in our comfort zone.
Of course, it is very human to rely on our partner and even use a little manipulation to get things done from each other. But in a codependent relationship, this takes place to a dysfunctional degree.
Love is not the priority anymore in this relationship, because we give more significance to the satisfaction of our personal needs. Our fears and needs keep us from experiencing real love in our relationship.
After the period of being madly in love slowly fades, we put our personal needs first and driven by our fear of ending up alone and the belief, we are not strong enough to take matters in our own hands.
Both partners miss out on real love and stay with a hole in their hearts. Because they are too busy trying to find satisfaction for their needs, they are often not conscious of the fact that love is less and less present in their relationship.
Mostly when one of the partners becomes conscious of the lack of love in the relationship and of the lack of freedom to be themselves and express themselves, the relationship ends.
So the information in this article can maybe be helpful to become conscious in time and save your relationship before it escalates. Together with your partner, you can have the courage and honesty to realize personal needs and allow love to become the purpose in the relationship. Together you can communicate about this openly without pointing fingers.
Just see things the way they are without putting the blaming the other. Blaming is, after all, another manipulation technique to protect yourself and use your partner as a shield to stay safe.
In order to bring love in the relationship, it is necessary to become vulnerable and let go of all your defense mechanisms. Have both the courage to objectively analyze your relationship without jousting. If you can both do this, you put the doors wide open for love and you can save your relationship! In physics, scientists state there are four fundamental forces in nature: electromagnetism, weak interaction, strong interaction and gravity. Just take a jump and you already defeated its power for a second.
The power of gravity is easy to control since even birds can lift off and fly. But on the other hand, it is gravity that holds the whole galaxy together. While gravity is very subtle, it is the most important force. And what is even more special about it: it is completely invisible. Love is exactly the same as gravity. While gravity is a physical force, we can see love as a spiritual force.
Love is an energetical power that keeps us all together. Like with the gravitational force you can only observe what it does, but not what it is. To me personally, love makes me recognize in the other, that everything that this person is, I am that as well… whether it is good or bad. The more love I feel, the fewer differences there is between me and other people seem to exist. But I recommend you to contemplate about this yourself.
Just like gravity, love is always there. It is independent of us. When we take care of someone, we get tired… but you can never get tired of giving love. We channel a power that is already there and there is an infinite amount of it. All we need to do is to relax our body, open our heart and let love replenish us. Those exact feelings of responsibility and duty that puts so much weight on our shoulders, the energetical pathways to our heart gets blocked.
When we have too many responsibilities and duties to take care of others, we burn out energy instead of getting replenishing it. The energy of love flows effortlessly. Loving someone is easy.
Create a personalised content profile. Measure ad performance. Select basic ads. Create a personalised ads profile. Select personalised ads. Apply market research to generate audience insights. Measure content performance. Develop and improve products. List of Partners vendors. At some point in time, most of us will know the feeling: Your heart flutters when you see your partner walk in the room, and it feels like the time you spend together puts you on top of the world.
Being in love is a part of life that many people strive to experience and it can seem like every character in movies, books, and other stories we enjoy are focused around it in one way or another. There are many different types of love. Some people feel butterflies when they're infatuated with someone special; happy couples married for years have a deep, profound attachment to each other; and a parent's love for their children is often regarded as the strongest love one can experience.
But when it comes to romance, the feelings of love and being in love are separate and depend on the stage of your relationship. If you're wondering what it means to be in love vs. But we often find these two feelings confusing, as it is difficult to understand the difference between them. Are they one and the same? Or are they interdependent? Or are they autonomous? These are few of the questions that come to our minds when we think about love and care.
In this article, we are going to discuss the difference between Love and care as an attempt to clear this confusion about these two concepts. Love is a feeling of deep affection.
It is used as a noun as well as a verb. Love is often associated with other positive feelings like caring, warmth, and happiness.
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