Because I'd want him to grant me the same kindness. Because I want him to be happy. He claims he would never exercise this freedom, which is exactly what I want him to say, just like I want him to tell me that he would never love anyone else after I died, even though he obviously needs someone to make sure he turns on the air conditioner when it gets above 90 degrees and washes vegetables before he eats them, and he needs someone to explain elaborate Game of Thrones predictions to and love.
He has done this for six years, and presumably will do it until she dies, which doctors say may not be for quite a while. And I never want him to be alone like that. So, babe, I want you to fuck other women.
Just don't tell me about it when it happens, because I would lose my shit if I heard about the things you've done to her or how her kisses are different from mine or what she tastes like.
Or, as a Gen X friend of mine speculated, perhaps Millennials are terrified of breaking rules. In line with this moral-Millennial hypothesis, many young, married people told me it feels less honorable to leave your spouse for someone else. In this case, some Millennials are still traumatized by the recession and struggling to launch their careers. Why screw it up? The peak in the divorce rate was in , right as the oldest Millennials were being born and younger Gen Xers were reaching their tender grade-school years.
Millennials are much more likely to be the children of divorce than their children will be, if current trends continue. They want to divorce-proof their marriage. For some young people, fidelity is a way of vowing to do better than your own parents did. And I never wanted my kids to grow up the way that I did. In other words, yes, it might simply be the case that people over 55 are getting older, growing uninterested, and applying the looser sexual mores they grew up in to sex lives that have gotten a little stale.
Skip to content Site Navigation The Atlantic. Popular Latest. I literally saw an opportunity and took advantage of it. The concept of a cheating wife contrasts a lot with what our culture tells us about women. To many, the thought triggers stronger reactions than that of a cheating man, which is more expected based on historical norms. Given the emotional and financial tolls of cheating, not to mention their impact on children, which is bigger still rethinking our preconceptions about female infidelity is only the beginning.
Open minds are important, but when it comes to preventing infidelity, communication is paramount. All relationships need to begin with honest conversations about sex, preferably before marriage. A lot of the women Walker interviewed said that when they talked freely about their fantasies or desires to their husbands, they were met with disgust that made them feel ashamed.
Cheating presented them with an opportunity to feel validated and accepted. In conducting her research, Walker was surprised to also learn that a lot of the women that she interviewed were interested in the prospect of an open marriage.
Walker also discovered that most cheating wives see the act as an exercise in power. Old-fashioned chivalry feeds into socially accepted norms that can put women into subordinate roles early on in the relationship. For women who cheat, infidelity can feel like a means of taking back that power. In the end, attentiveness is the key.
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