I don't doubt it is now how you describe it, but it wasn't that way before hi-tech startup culture started taking over. Seattle is slowly getting more friendly and less provincial. Maybe one day it will be better than the Bay Area, but unlikely because the same forces that are messing with the Bay Area are messing with Seattle and New York too.
New York has closed itself off to the young and the struggling. But there are other cities. New York City has been taken away from you. So my advice is: Find a new city. Then buy skis that are a different color ; Just kidding. But I understand your sentiment. The grey skies wouldn't bother me at all, but my wife would not be able to stand it.
We live in a sunny climate, and every day that is overcast she tells me how depressed it makes her feel Some people just need sunshine! Do you realize that you didn't refute or deny any of his criticisms? I'm not sure what you're expecting when the criticisms were vague jabs like "not a real city," "provincial," "hick town.
Yes Seattle people tend to be passive, but that is not the same as unfriendly. I note that the parent is mainly talking about the people, and you're mainly talking about other things, except to admit that the people are 'a bit' I would say profoundly passive.
Believe me, I love the scenery and the sushi too, but goddamn this place lonely. In 7 years in Seattle, I've amassed a mess of friends and playmates. If you are lonely, expand your social horizons, initiate lunches, coffees, games, dinners, whatever , rinse, repeat. I'm not excessively charming, so that's about the only thing I can attribute my not-remotely-loneliness to I just worked at not being lonely. Given how itinerant Seattle's population is, it seems strange to think that the people here are massively different in behavior cities of similar size.
I must suck at socializing a lot worse than I thought I did. It's a skill, so you might suck. But it's possible you're just not doing the work. Be the guy who calls, hosts dinners, etc. If you DO suck, this will help with that too.
Seattle is my favorite place in the entire world. People always complain about the "freeze" but I call bullshit. I joined a climbing gym and found a few great friends with that in common.
People here aren't outwardly friendly to strangers, but find a commonality and go from there, it's super effective. I'm pretty surprised about this line criticism from this forum. Nerds or "hackers" in this case are a generally introverted crowd, no?
It's not a good city if you're a brogrammer who wants to party like a rock star every night. That's totally fine by me. Have a nice day. Somewhere else. However, there is an unmistakable coolness exuded by many inhabitants of this city toward people they don't know; it exceeds what I would consider "normal. The more we can do that, the less inclined we are to engage in the messy social world. A slideshow of ways of dealing with the freeze agrees more or less with your advice to pick an interest and go from there.
Unfriendly to outsiders? I play ultimate with a group of awesome folks twice a week, touch football once a week with another group, and bump into all sorts of friendly faces at tech meetups. People seems broadly friendly compared to most cities. I'll agree that folks are less confrontational than the east coast, which translates to more passive aggression but certainly less OVERALL aggression than east coast cities.
As far as "hick town" Seattle is literally the most educated city in the US. It legalized gay marriage and pot before almost anyone else. I don't understand what you mean by "hick" I guess we do have a lot of plaid.
Being from Europe, I can only confirm that people in the Bay Area are in fact, incredibly passive-aggressive. The first few years I must admit that I felt like living on Mars. Even-though I'm coming from a "western" country whose lifestyle and tradition are somewhat similar, the cultural gap was actually much bigger than say, with Indians or Latinos. At work for example, it took me a rather long time to understand the real meanings of "I'm not sure" which means 'no' or "interesting" which means more or less that what you said is stupid.
Not to mention being asked times a day how I am doing or whether I found everything I was looking for at wholefood. Yep, people in this region have an imperial need to "be nice", at least on the surface and it can feel Orwellian at times if you are not used to it, especially on those days of bad mood. I think in Thailand they call that "sweet mouth, salty butt". But hey, that's also a huge plus, since it prevents a lot of bad vibes and unneeded frictions.
I believe it's just a societal organization. Sometimes I go back to my country for work, and over there people's number one characteristic is distrust and indifference, and I can guarantee you that I feel like a foreigner over there now - well, on normal days, because if I happen to be in a bad mood, I'm kind of showing signs of Tourette syndrome and want to punch everybody.
Overall, I think I'm mixing well in the Bay Area. And more importantly, most of my friends and relatives who share those character traits do tolerate that some foreigners like me don't necessarily think and act the same way. And frankly, wouldn't the world be boring if people were the same everywhere? As an Englishman, i have found this whole thread about the cultural differences up and down the west coast somewhat fascinating.
What i'm missing is a cross-reference to the European scale of societies. I live in London, where we don't speak to our neighbours or make eye contact on the tube; would i actually be more comfortable in Seattle than San Francisco? Or would it be over the top, like being in Sweden or something? Or is the variation along a completely different axis? You'd probably like San Francisco more; I rode Caltrain daily and never had one social interaction onboard.
The same wasn't true in Seattle. As someone who lived his first 22 years in the metro Boston area but has lived in various parts of California for something like 16 years, I'd argue that it is impossible to paint "California" with such a wide brush. The various parts of CA are, as you say, quite different from one another, but they are all extremely passive-aggressive compared to the North East. Where aren't people passive aggressive? No where I've ever been. There are passive-aggressive people everywhere, but it is especially prevalent on the west coast.
For the Angelino it's the opposite. My impression of Seattle while living there was that it wants to be Manhattan, except that cars will stop to let you cross the street.
Wasn't really what I was looking for, but it was an interesting stay for a while. I don't know what is more real about Vancouver, other than the newer part of downtown, I found it to be a sprawling mess just like your average US big city. Richmond was heavily Asian, Surrey seemed to have the heavier crime, and Burnaby was more suburban. The weather in California is certainly better on average, though, I'll say that. Except for the cost of living, I'd almost assuredly go there, myself.
Instead, you share it with other people. Example: Chris did something to annoy me, but instead of telling Chris directly, I decide to tell our mutual acquaintances about why I am annoyed by Chris. You committed to volunteering with a group of people when you decide you no longer want to participate. To avoid telling the group, you decide not to respond to their communication or show up to their meetings.
The difference is the context. Any of these sound familiar to you? I know I certainly have been passive at all of these levels. Being passive is just the first of two kinds of passiveness. The other kind is condoning passiveness from others. It is when someone is passive towards us and we quietly accept it. Seattle passiveness is so deeply entrenched in our culture, we often exhibit and condone passive behavior on a regular basis. Newcomers to our region may find it particularly hard to learn this language.
We need to be indirect at times to preserve our relationships. We overthink how others might respond and censor ourselves to avoid possibly offending anyone. Anything bordering on being direct could be interpreted as potentially offensive. There is another Seattle trait intertwined in our passive culture: a propensity for complaining about others. Because Seattleites are such considerate, self-reflective people, we also spend a lot of ET resenting the thing we decided to be passive about.
First, estimate ET and AT in minutes. If you are spending five times as much time on ET versus AT, you should consider doing something about it. If you value your time and you talk about being busy, with a 10x factor, you really should just take action. We facilitate collaboration among strangers from diverse backgrounds who are working in the public, private, and nonprofit sectors.
I see in Ion and in other professional settings that Seattle passive behavior is one of the biggest killers of collaboration.
When I was in Idaho and Oregon, all the people at the gun range, would be joking, laughing ,friendly and happy.
It was a place where men and women can be men and everyone is unloading the frustrations of the day, being or pretending to be macho or just having a fun time. SO, you can imagine the shock I had when I joined up at a couple gun ranges in the Seattle area and nobody was too friendly, laughing and people seem to just keep to themselves and not bond with the fellow shooters on the range, which is uncommon.
Even the gun ranges around here are so serious and no non-sense. If you cannot have fun and be friendly with your fellow shooters at the range, you are doomed just about anywhere else. However, to be fair, I did think the Issaquah Sportsman Club had a lot of nice people in comparison to some other clubs I went to. It's just not a club I would join due to lack of amenities, but that's different subject. Last edited by RotseCherut; at PM..
Think British humor similar climate, too. I have a great sense of humor, but you have to be funny. It's a two way street. Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Additional giveaways are planned. Detailed information about all U. Posting Quick Reply - Please Wait. User-defined colors Preset color patterns.
Opacity: Opacity. Most recent value. Based on data. Similar Threads In what states people have passive-aggressive behavior? No communication and feeling sad about it. What to do? Passive Aggressive! View detailed profiles of: Seattle, Washington. Spokane, Washington. Issaquah, Washington. User Name. Remember Me. Seattle area Seattle and King County Suburbs. View detailed profile Advanced or search site with.
Search Forums Advanced. Page 1 of 4. Advertisements Hello, when I first moved here, I was warned to watch out for people being "passive aggressive," which I didn't really get because everyone seemed so nice.
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